Regret is ranked as the second most frequently mentioned emotion, with love leading the pack. According to research, 90 percent of the people claim to have a big regret concerning something about their lives.
Our biggest regrets centre mainly on romance, family, education, career, and finance. Forty-four percent of women have regrets about their romance, while only 19 percent of men do.
With time, misgivings about giving in to some pleasures tend to fade while we become increasingly disappointed about the fun we skipped. This is because of the fact that guilt over indulgences is temporary, whereas feelings of missing out creep up slowly. This means that we will be a bit more contented with life if we at times opt for a little evil over virtue.
Ironically, when we have more choices, we tend to have more regrets about what we choose. Many people feel the most regret about the missed chances. However, in due course, the chances of regretting things they didn’t do other than the things they did are higher. And what is the reason? Because of our ability to rationalize and reframe the way we see things, somehow our psychological immune system assists us to pull through bad experience faster than we assume. However, using these tricks to get over is harder if we have never tried something else in the first place.
The positive aspect of regret
Regret is in fact the most beneficial of the 12 positive emotions, beside anger, guilt, fear, sadness and sorrow.
Regret helps us to make sense out of our past experiences, evading more blunders, and fixing our slip-ups. Opportunity normally breeds regrets, which in turn brings about change. We tend to regret things even more when we are still in a position to change the course in order to rectify a mistake, advance an objective or improve a situation. This is referred to as “the opportunity principle.”
Whenever we have an opportunity to make a change for the better, we experience guilt feelings about not doing it. The moment things get out of hand, we usually rationalize away regret.
How to move beyond regret:
- Try to learn a lesson from the mistake.
- Look at the positive side.
- Don’t dwell on it.
- Take some action.
Why it is important to correct your mistake today:
According to the experts, older people have a tendency of experiencing regret more deeply than younger people. This is due to the fact that the older you get, the harder it becomes for you to correct your wrongs, and the more regrets become painful.
It is important to own up your mistakes. You might feel better by exposing your regrets. An analysis of more than 13,500 Tweets was conducted and it revealed that we publicise our regrets whenever we are looking for social support. Therefore, since mistakes are part of our journey, you should not be too hard on yourself.
Here are some useful guidelines to help you live a regret-free life:
- Don’t live your life based on other people’s expectations. Instead, live a life which in your opinion is more meaningful to you.
- Always express your feelings courageously.
- Just allow yourself to be cheerier.
- Let your family time rank first in the order of priority when it comes to using your time.
- Keep in touch with your old pals.
